HAIRCUT 100: Day 5, No. 5. Fester Addams, brother of Gomez, or, possibly, uncle of Morticia, and briefly the husband of Debbie Jellinksky, AKA The Black Widow. ‘Except for the good nature of the family and the ignorance of the police,’ wrote creator Charles Addams, ‘Fester would ordinarily be under lock and key.’ Lost in the Bermuda Triangle for twenty-five years, he can generate 110 volts, knows you should always aim for a major artery, and once removed his brother’s brain while he slept.
‘These Addams men,’ declares Debbie, ‘where do you find them?’
‘It has to be damp,’ says Morticia.
‘We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo, we danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you!’