Day 25, No. 25. Yvonne from Hot Wax Zombies On Wheels

811Uji8fgnL._SL1500_HAIRCUT 100: Day 25, No. 25. Gwen Somers as Harley riding dominatrix and certified beautician Yvonne in Mike J. Roush’s Hot Wax Zombies on Wheels (1999), a tale of bikes, body hair, and total global domination. When Chez Yvonne, a beauty salon specialising in hair removal, opens in a small fishing community and starts offering free waxes, lingerie saleslady and local politician Sharon and her best friend Sven, the town barber, soon realise that all is not well. As Sven tries to explain over the phone to incredulous cops: ‘The whole town is dead, walking dead, zombies, you know, like Republicans.’ It’s true! Madame Yvonne has made it her goal to rid the world of unsightly body hair, but her hair removal formula has a very unusual side effect: after the wax sets them free, the townspeople turn into sex-crazed zombies. It’s up to Sharon and Sven to round up a posse to fight the silky-smooth maniacs before Yvonne raises a slave army to take over the world. Gwen Somers is an erotic actress best known for 90s soft core classics The Hottest Bid and Surf, Sand and Sex. As Valkyrie Yvonne, Somers sports an obvious blond wig for most of the movie, before whipping it off in the climax to reveal a shapely cranium as smooth as a freshly-picked apple. Genre critics have decried the use of the term ‘zombie’ to describe oiled and hairless lackeys under a weird sexual spell as opposed to rotting and vengeful revenants. But why get hung up on semantics? With hogs, hot wax, humour and porn stars, who cares if the zombies are clean and shiny: ‘Wax at your own risk, and prepare for no hair!’

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